I have had different types of romantic relationships. I have went out with different kinds of people — some worth remembering and some that just really needs to be forgotten lit on fire and killed on the spot. (lol jk. no bitterness here *wink)
I don’t really believe in courtship. Before, I don’t get why girls seem to play hard to get when a guys likes them. I don’t really believe in prolonging the ligawan phase — i thought that if you really like each other, why not start dating and start the relationship — that way, you get to learn more about the person, you get to know them better, in a much more personal level.
But after all the shitty-ness that I have had because of my past “relationships,” I now understand why, why we have to get to know the person more before we commit. I learned how important being committed is. That you have to learn how they really are first. You have to see how they react to certain situations, to see how they respond to issues.
I learned that I should not jump in once I see a potential — I should test the waters first, then slowly submerge myself once I feel that it’s right. Slowly. Slowly submerge myself.
And now, I am easing myself to a world where I don’t need to rush things. I learned to savor the feelings that come my way, to see if it won’t be shitty again — to see if we’re a perfect fit.
I am trying hard to slow down for this one person — I don’t want to send this spiraling downwards again because of bullshit reasons. I will slow down, get to know him as much as I can, see how he reacts to as many scenarios that I can imagine before I submerge myself. Before I commit.
The funny thing is, he seems to be enjoying himself proving to me how deserving he is. He likes making me feel like a princess — making me feel wanted, making me feel loved.
He responds naturally once I present certain situations, even ones that are reeeaaally irritating. I try to get him angry, I try to get him to leave — but he’s still here.
All his efforts are not dying down — and it makes me feel good. I feel really happy that I chose not to rush. I missed the attention, I missed being pampered.
But I know that when the right time comes, I will be ready to commit again. Once I see that there’s no bs, that he’s true to himself, that his feelings are genuine, I would not let go. I’m going to make sure that this slowness doesn’t go to waste. (weeeell, if he’s worth it. *wink wink)